Tag Archives: family

Reclaiming Me

I recall meeting with friends for brunch last year. It was so lovely to catch up in person after the COVID hiatus. Following flowing conversation, laughter and full bellies, we posed for a photo. This photo post brunch was reminiscent of our last brunch outing (many moons earlier). Later that day, back at home, I viewed the photo on my phone and looked at myself in disbelief, who is that person? I pulled up our earlier photo from many moons ago as a comparison, I could barely recognize myself….

Time had been cruel, or had I been cruel to myself?

Sure working from home the majority of the last three years did not help, but I felt lost in who I was. I became focused on each day ahead, instead of the present moment. I wanted more than anything to make the ridiculousness of COVID leave as little of an impact on my family as possible, especially our kids. In all of my focus on this task, I lost focus on myself. My regular exercising dwindled and my eating habits… were less than impressionable.

I knew I had to step up to make change and for a long time, this step eluded me. I wished for overnight changes, like rubbing a genie bottle and wishing for the health of my youth at the snap of a finger. Finally, I realized all this time I had been focusing on my children, they were the best reason to take this step… If my children see me striving to be better, striving to eat healthier and being more active, this behaviour is more likely to leave a lasting impression on them.

Gradually, I have started eating better, exercising more and being more conscious about what I am putting in my body. I have taken to running again, even occasionally with my daughter! I am still a big believer in balance, which is to say I haven’t drastically cut things out of my diet as I know this would make me miserable (ahem chocolate). I have found a happy medium and now, when I look at myself in the mirror, I see me again.

Silver Linings

I have to admit, I am one of those people that tries to find the good in every situation. A positive spin to a not so bright day, or a shiny new outlook on a downtrodden path, you name it, my middle name should have been Hope.

So many times this past year and a half, I have, as I am sure have many others, thought about how our worlds have changed, or when would we be back to “normal” again? When everything shut down in March 2020, I was fortunate to be in a position where I could work from home. This allowed me to be present every day, all day for my children. While I worked, I enjoyed the light buzz around the house that they made. There was no waiting for me to get home from my commute, we enjoyed breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day this past year and half. We created a routine and I tasked them with daily things to complete before they could play any video games or watch any television. They have been so amazing and well behaved during this time and they understood without question the need for Momma to have quiet during the day.

I will miss the little notes they would slip under my office door, either a drawing of them and I, or a little message to tell me how much they loved me. I have quite the collection now, and I hope to display them all on my office wall as a daily reminder of how lucky I truly am.

While online schooling was not the greatest, again, we managed. Trust me there were days where I wondered how I would make it through to the next successfully, or if I was helping the kids as much as I could when they ran into schooling or device issues. All the while I was juggling the fast pace and intense workload of my job. Some days it was extremely draining to say the least. We made it work as best we could and I think we all got a little more computer literate along the way. I look back at this time now and am proud of myself at how well we actually managed, all things considered. The kids have been extremely resilient and all deserve a special treat for their efforts and positive attitudes.

The kids missed their in class schooling, their friends and the whole school experience, and when September 7th rolled around, they were giddy to return. On the first day back, they were at the door with backpacks on 30 minutes before they had to leave! I only hope they are always this eager to learn!

While our two youngest revelled in going back, they were sweet about missing their time with me during the day. Asking if I would be home when they got back at the end of the day, wanting to make sure I would still be there. I assured them that “Momma, will always be here when you need her”. It was bittersweet their first day back, but I am so happy for them. While I may have made a good substitute/assistant teacher during this past year and half, I’ll leave it in the professionals hands now!

Time has flown by so quickly, and while so much negativity has flown around over the events since March 2020, in my heart I will always look back and remember how much I got to be present with my babes. This is time that I may not under “normal” circumstances have had with them.